Election 2016, I Won’t Miss You at All


(Photo: Dominic Holden, @dominicholden)

Dear Donald Trump Supporters,

This has been a rough one. The candidate you’re voting for stands for the absolute worst in us. He has trashed every group imaginable. He’s irresponsibly attacked women, pregnant women, disabled people, veterans, active servicemen and women, immigrants, black people, foreign allies, his own party, abuse victims, and just about everyone in between. It’s like he’s South Park with no wink, no sense of humor and no self-awareness.

But if you look past all that — which, holy shit but sure, why not — and get down to the core of all this, all you’re standing for is a hypocrite and hypocrisy and behavior that is, objectively, monstrous. And even if you think that political correctness is a cloud, and one that’s hanging over everything (an inexplicable and borderline indefensible position, but one that, among the rest of the wreckage his campaign has wrought, is a position that’s as real as myriad other less harmful ones so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) please, please, please understand this: just because he gets away with being a racist, misogynistic liar doesn’t mean you will too.

In fact, it’s the opposite. He’s going to keep being deplorable, regardless of outcome. But if you try to act the same way the man you’re hoping to elect does, only you will feel the burn of being that way. Not him. He’s teflon, sure. What the fuck ever. He can say literally anything and somehow escape the blast radius like some fascist Sgt. John McClane. But none of you can get away with this. You’re not teflon1. You’re sticky as shit and regardless of who’s in the White House, you can’t escape that.

So if this about saying what you want to say, remember that only one candidate has actively and repeatedly threatened to infringe upon the First Amendment rights of US citizens (Hint: Trump). And if this is about your fear of foreign threat, remember that only one candidate has any experience of diplomacy in that arena (Hint: Not Trump). If this about policy, literally only one of them has said anything actionable regarding that increasingly foreign topic of conversation while the other has used adjectives, adverbs and statements of declaration that sound like a blindly associated Nerf commercial.

And if this is about you disliking politicians and wanting to elect an outsider (because people have talked about how electing an outsider could fix problems that they never specifically identify except for broad, complex issues that usually have no bearing on anything concrete), consider this, just for a second: How would you like a 70 year old dude with no experience in your field coming in to a job race with no professional experience in that field, period, and telling you how terrible you are at your job and how awesome they’d be at it. You’d be furious. Every time.

A true, legit outsider — one who’s never held public office, in any capacity — has no business being President. For those still trumpeting this notion, stop. Politics is a job. Being the President is a job. So is Secretary of State. Or a state senator. This isn’t a hobby. You can’t compare it to fucking whittling. An outsider makes as much sense in the Oval Office as it one would in the cockpit of a plane. Yes, pilots make mistakes every once in a while, but that doesn’t mean you want someone with no fucking training flying you simply because the people who have trained have made the occasional error in the course of history. Fuck.

And if you want to make this about scandals… I have no absolutely words for the selective, irresponsible way you consume information. She had a server. She’s been cleared by multiple investigations. He’s been plausibly and tangibly linked to roughly 94% of all possible illegal activity and cleared a fraction of the time.

For those trying to make this about the “MEDIA”, it’s not their fault either. All media organizations are biased and this is especially true regarding any organization touting Trump’s “leads.” Media organizations are biased in favor of a lot of things — the right, the left, the working person, the retiree, even objectivity (shoutout CNN for pretending like all past behavior is equal and for pretending like a private server is anywhere comparable to the litany of potential fraud, discrimination, abuse, harassment and espionage allegations levied against Trump. Good job guys.) — but that doesn’t make the information they disseminate inherently false just because they’re disseminating it. If that were the case, all the trash that’s passed around on this fucked up cyber Telephone platform would be the shoddiest of it all.

But it’s not the case. If a media outlet says something that you think sounds a little off, here’s what you can do: investigate it. Google something. For once. You have all the information about everything at your literal fingertips, making willful ignorance irresponsible and embarrassing. 70% of the time Trump talks, he’s lying, according to non-partisan Politifact. That’s absurd. In print, if I were to try that, it looks like this, “I was born in Iceland, am made of pudding, grass is blue, cows are lemurs, mammals give birth, sharpies are extinct, you can use live rats as a computer mouse, the plural form of the word ‘mug’ is ‘Andrew’ and toast starts as bread.” That sentence is objectively insane, yet it has as the same percentage of truths as Donald Trump’s entire campaign worth of rhetoric. And if people are ok with that, than whatever. He’s your choice for president, so I’m sure you’ve found some way to make that a point of pride.

And if you’re currently undecided, please vote now. And not for him. Voting for him is like going out to eat at a nice restaurant and asking your server for dirty dish water in response to “still or sparkling.” Use your brains. Use your fingers. Don’t just repeat things because those things might solidify an argument. We’re better than that. Or at least we should be.

Best regards,

Reed Nelson

P.S. — Scottie Nell Hughes… oh boy. Either you’re an idiot and an evangelical (mutually exclusive entities, in theory), or you’re an unabashed spin monster who lies, pivots and sneers using religion as a shield to deflect the justified criticism to arguments with incomprehensible logic, at best, or wildly racist undertones (at not as best), or just plain dangerous messaging (at its worst. Maybe. I don’t even know what worst is. But I think it’s Scottie Nell Hughes).


  • It’s like you’re taking a test that you’ve studied for and you’ve answered all the questions to the best of your ability, issuing thoughtful, reasoned responses for each answer, but then you get a D for your efforts while some dude next to you didn’t study at all, wrote “CatDog” for every answer on a Trig test and got an A-. Don’t be excited for him. Wonder why that behavior was allowed, maybe. Ask yourself why you don’t get the same type of leniency. Jump


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