Dispatch from 12:09 PST on CFB Saturday: Michigan State’s Safe!


Dale G. Young/Detroit News

Dale G. Young/Detroit News

It’s nine minutes after noon on a nice Saturday here in San Francisco — I know this because of bagels and my preference that my dog soils the sidewalk, not my floor, but certainly not for any other reason — and second-ranked1 Michigan State has managed to hang on for a 24-21 win over Purdue at Spartan Stadium. They had an early 21-0 lead, but they blew most of that like an aspiring DJ with a trust-fund.

By the middle of the fourth quarter, they clung to a precarious three-point lead before trying to convert a third-and-six with a swing pass that went for negative yards. Mark Dantonio is down to call a heart attack-inducing fake field goal in overtime but won’t call a slant on third down from midfield at home with the lead in the fourth quarter while ranked second in the country, a distinction he’s clearly handling well. And by well, I mean he’s handling it with the same super-soft white gloves that museum archivist handle things in humidity controlled history lockers.

Anyways. More things.

#13 Alabama at #8 Georgia (O/U- 50.5)

I’m still not sure if Georgia is a real football team or a computer simulation designed to establish a high baseline of expectation before invariably not living up to them, and this is after watching over 20 years of televised Georgia games. AJ Green is like Wreck it Ralph, emerging from the program as a realized person.

(Disclaimer: I’ve seen Wreck it Ralph twice, and I’m not sure if I just accurately described the plot or totally distorted it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Also, I’m not saying that I support hurricanes or the damage they cause, but I am saying that they’re the only reason that I’ll ever tune into The Weather Channel. And because Hurricane Joaquin is ending its camp out in the Bahamas, the Eastern Seaboard is getting crushed by rain this weekend. Again, hurricanes and disasters are always bad, but, paradoxically, rainy day football is always the best. And it’s going to be rain-ing in Athens.

Washington State at #24 Cal (O/U- 73)

This is my favorite over/under of the day, because it had to have taken every restraint-related fiber in the odds-maker’s body to not have said, “Fuck it, infinity. Infinity points.” Washington State doesn’t like defense, Cal has started to a little bit. I like the over, but the over could have been like 246 and I would’ve still liked the over. Giant numbers are always fun.

But about the actual football. Cal has been good this year. Not like, “good” good, but good. Their defense gets them off the field, Jared Goff is top-10 nationally in just about every relevant quarterbacking category (save rating, which he falls just outside of as of this writing) and the normal Pac-12 North alpha’s aren’t behaving as such this season.

If Cal gets past Pirate Mike Leach, then the October 10 matchup with Utah becomes undeniably intriguing, something literally no one but Sonny Dykes’ most supporting family members could’ve anticipated a month ago.

Utah vs. The National Media

Hey! We got some love! Michael Weinreb even got at us. Utah has an off-week, but that’s probably not the worst thing in the world. They have Cal at home in a week and Travis Wilson’s latest round of X-Rays and MRIs revealed that his bones are made of Lincoln Logs and his tendons are actually hair ties from Sephora. And sure, this situation won’t be remedied in a week, but a week off means a week in which Wilson remains intact. I still have no idea how he survived this:

Gif from SB Nation/ABC

Gif from SB Nation/ABC

There are other things too, but nice days and stuff.


  • My computer tried to correct “second-ranked” to “second-rate” which is both sad and hilarious. My only defense? I run a MacBook from the first half of Obama’s first four years, so it’s not really the computer’s fault it hasn’t updated unfounded opinions. Now I’m thinking of my computer like a relative that consistently ruins a holiday meal in four words or less. It’s seriously a minor miracle every time I post something. The pinwheel sometimes works as a mouse. True story. My pinwheel is so fucking senile that it allows me to keep working on occasion. Jump

Categories: Around the Pac-12, CFB

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