BY GEORGE ARTSITAS — I spoke with my brother for the first time in a long time today and believe me, he wasn’t my first choice. I’ve exasperated all the other options in my family for this little column, and it’s finally come down to asking my brother.
It’s not that my brother and I don’t get along, we’re just very disconnected age-wise. He recently turned 18, just graduate high school and is still very much in a scene that would allow him to learn new things and know what’s cool and hip.
So when I asked him who would win tonight’s Oregon @ Arizona St. matchup, he sent me a little bit of a curveball back, via text.
“Organ wins because they are way too raw.”
Now besides the curious fact that my brother couldn’t spell Oregon but nailed the proper homonym of “too” what really stuck for me was the last word in that sentence. Raw. Now Google’s dictionary defined it as “Uncooked; not yet processed or purified.” So either he was making a lame pun about Ducks not being killed or he was trying out some new slang on me. It’s the latter.
Just for some perspective, here’s a list of just some of the words he’s taught me over the past few years:
Bop – (Noun) A promiscuous girl
Knock – (N) A dumb and (also) usually promiscuous girl
Damn Near – (Verb) one’s exuberant excitement for something
Gas – (N) A very well executed rap verse or line
Grapes – (N)Particularly good marijuana
Raw -(Adj) Something that is good
Now remember, this is just a few of them. His glossary of words “all the kids are saying” is deeper than the Oregon backfield. But with him being by far the most knowledgeable sports fan in my family, there’s no doubt he knew what he was doing.
I asked him what he thought the score would be and he said “49-21.”
Not really raw, more of a medium-rare guess.
My pick is right around there at Oregon winning, 55-17.